Someone reminded me recently of the saying, “people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime”. Certainly, this was not my first time hearing these words. But somehow, I think it might have been the first time I heard them.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty; to provide you with guidance and support; to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Author Unknown

I’d always considered this sentiment in the past-tense, with an implicit hierarchy of value, and as a means to excuse, justify, or minimize the loss of relationships that had run their course. I characterized relationships in the ‘reasons’ and ‘seasons’ categories as, in some way, less than. Less real. Less meaningful. Less truthful. Less legitimate. Less wanted. Less worthy.

What if I’ve had it all wrong? What if reasons, seasons, and lifetimes all have value? What if they are all real, and meaningful, and truthful, and legitimate, and all the things I’ve been telling myself they are not? What then?

(Spoiler alert, I have had it all wrong! 100%)

If relationships that last a lifetime are the only ones that matter, here is the million dollar question… How do you know which relationship might land in which category? How do you ever begin to build anything real with anyone? More to the point, why would you bother? It’s too risky.

Some people are going to pass briefly through your world, and sometimes you are going wish they’d been there longer. Others will offer you lessons, some wanted and others you didn’t know you needed at the time. A few will walk beside you through this life, ride or die. And all of that is ok.

You can’t know for sure, and you can’t protect yourself from the inevitable messiness that comes with sharing yourself; not without closing yourself off from all of the good stuff too. And that is too high a price.

Dive in, eyes wide open, knowing that “people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime”, and choose to accept that each is valuable, real and worth experiencing. Embrace vulnerability, fear and the inevitable mess; it’s the only path to the magic and beauty.